Chatting with an Opiate Addict


Hey, I’m Andrew Hales welcome to another edition of chatting with today I’m with Brandon Thanks arena. Thank you. Yeah So you’re you’re an opioid junkie X opioid junkie yet. Oh, but I mean because You know because you recovered from something doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s over with you kind of always want to Represent yourself as an addict Okay, it’s always going to be a part of you. You can always step back into it. So it’s kind of a Thin walking line, right? Yeah, we’re talking about painkillers Painkillers majority of the time. Yeah majority of the time what kind what are they called? Percocets 30 milligram percocets, that’s I mean I started taking one or two on the weekends And then started using it as I got more stressed out just as a crutch, you know Or maybe anxiety or something like that. Have you done heroin? I have yeah, like Not banged it now. I’ve never shot up. Okay. Yeah, I’ve seen three of my friends die So, oh, I always stayed away from that. Yeah called man. Plus I would like you too much feels too good Yeah Banging it or banged it. I never died terminal. I’m pretty vanilla but Okay, um Percocets for the most part you just started doing it for fun on the weekends. Yeah, pretty much I mean it kind of started with a broken ankle here and there excites the BMX race my whole life And so, oh wow once I hurt myself, I got the pills I was like and I smoked a lot of weed and so the combination of the two is kind of bliss for me So I just seeked it out from there. Yeah, what’s it feel like? Like an orgasm times a million all over your body for hours. No way. Yeah Because I yeah, I’ve always been really curious Well, you can stop that curiosity here, um How did it affect your life negatively? Oh man, at first it didn’t at first it was really easy to manage Yeah, a lot of people take them under the radar no one even has a clue right? Yeah, it’s it’s really easy to hide I mean realistically once you start doing it every day and as much as I did on a daily basis You know your looks start to fade away. You get really flush your you get circles just down half your cheek on both eyes You know It’s it really starts to destroy like the mental aspect of your life and the physical aspect of your life It breaks relationships with friends and family So did you ever start stealing money? Or anything. Yeah, I mean I have stolen money. Definitely just to get the painkillers. Yeah to get the percocet. Mm-hmm They work the Jo get in trouble with the police never gotten in trouble with the police which is Fortunate a lot of a lot of people in recovery you like to say that since I haven’t been in jail Or I haven’t gotten in trouble with the police for it that I haven’t necessarily Hit my rock bottom but everyone’s rock bottom is different. I mean, I would I spent When it was all totaled up over $31,000 in less than a year on on pills. Hmm The first time you tried it was from an injury with bmxing Yeah that oh, how old were you I was probably 19 years old Okay, and then from then on you’re like oh and you then you started buying them from dealers yeah, all brands at first but technically dealers and then After the friends start running out you start to go and shitty parts of town and seeking them out from there Well, and you did that. Yeah all the time How much does it normally cost for one? percocet 30 it’s $30 a pill at most sometimes when you know, the When it’s dry out there and I’ve paid 40 and $50 just for one just so I could not be sick and just get well So I mean like at my worst I was taking 10 to 12 at a time spending up to 500 bucks a day How long does it last? I Mean it can last up to like eight hours You could last all day if you wanted it to If your tolerance is pretty I could last a couple hours before you have to read those eight hours of full-body orgasm I mean, it’s it’s it’s like a roller coaster, you know, so it hits your peak and then you still enjoy that high as you come down, but when you actually Come down and hit the bottom. It sucks. Yeah, yeah Hangovers kind of bad. Yeah for the most part. Yeah. It is thirty bucks for one pill Did you ever try to go to the doctors to get a prescription because that’s a lot cheaper right? Yeah, it would be But no I haven’t I’ve never I mean I I definitely thought about it But I’ve never actually attempted to go to the doctor always they’re always available at a phone call away So I never got to that point. Have you tried any other drugs like adderall or xanax done? Adderall? I’ve done coke one time Done a lot of shrooms acid smoked a lot of weed Bought us an axe. Mmm a lot of klonopin, none of those really took hold of, you know, hmm I mean we did I guess you still smoke weed. Yes, so smoke weed not not as much Like I used to smoke weed every single day and I used to use it when I didn’t have my pills, too But now it now kind of causes too much anxiety so I can go weeks without smoking weed without even the desire and sometimes every now and then like, you know, I’ll get a little bit of weed and smoke for a night and put it away for another week. Okay? When was the last time you took it took a percocet? before I went to rehab When was that, actually, you know, that was a lot not really alive But I just forgot I went to rehab in September of last year Got out and It was only about three weeks before I decided to dose again was in a really traumatizing and Really bad relationship with this girl. Oh, yes She’s kind of giving me a lot of drama to say the least you just kind of Be right back in the same spot um Girls can do that. Yeah What sparked the first rehab visit Pretty much the relationship getting toxic Suicidal tendencies not only on my part but on her part, my family started to be really aware of it What she’d do them with? You know, she actually didn’t know she was pretty against it for the most part And she knew that I had a problem with them in the past And I never really kept her in the loop about me continuing to use And so that was always like a really hard thing to deal with managing the relationship my mom also was in recovery when I was a lot younger, so she was the first one to notice and You know when she saw me start going really downhill really fast She stepped in pretty much right away and hooked up the recovery and started the whole process and got me into a 30-day rehabilitation clinic What’s that? How does that usually code? They that give you they put you on suboxone Yeah, I was on suboxone, but it was really short detox I got in And I took suboxone the same night I got there But it was only a four day taper So they actually the the rehabilitation clinic is actually kind of fucked up just because they load you up with suboxone Which can get you pretty much just as high as any other opiate. It does block the opiate receptors So if you were to dose your normal drug You know, you wouldn’t feel it. But there is a high end of euphoria there when you take a lot of suboxone So they load you up on that. I? took two mill to eight milligram strips of Suboxone my first 24 hours and in rehab and so as high as a kite Enjoying life and thought it was going to be really easy to get through the whole process Four days later. Everything came crashing down and I was really sick puking diarrhea horrible shit, man How long does a the withdrawal symptoms last they can last months really typically? Typically if anyone was looking to get off of it their own and not have any sort of medication to help them I would say that they’re looking at about two weeks before they start to feel normal But then again it takes up to a year for your brain chemistry to really kind of get back to its Homeostasis is what they say. Yeah, and You know like your your Your chemistry just takes so long to recover Especially if you’re Mountain Irish, you know eating the right foods and getting the right vitamins. Do you feel like you’ve reached homeostasis? I feel great. Yeah. Oh great. I feel normal. Now, there’s nothing it’s been like almost a year then Well when I got at it after I got at a rehab I did start using again until the end of February Ouka of this year and so I moved into my dad’s house for 30 days tried to get clean. There was still using got kicked out of there and then when went back went back home and I just kind of you know bit the bullet and decided to do it because I was jobless at the time I ended up quitting my job because I was too stressed out trying to manage my addiction. Yeah Bit the bullet No Yeah, how do you? What kind of I guess what causes you to get to that point where you finally decide alright because you know You can’t really break an addiction unless you until you want to. Mm-hmm so do you think it was just like a matter of time or is just like Ultimately, I just didn’t want to die. Yeah or end up in jail. So there’s a there’s a good acronym dope Equals death or prison eventually. Oh so if you Really really anybody who is involved for? You know ten plus years It’s gonna lead to that path no matter what Wow. Yeah. Did you come close to overdose? And I’ve probably overdosed a couple times without realizing it Wow, yeah, because I mean a lot of the pills that I was buying before I went to recovery They’re fake Essentially like a lot of the Mexican cartels will be cutting fake pressed pills with retinol And so at that point you’re taking way too much that your body can’t handle so you end up just you know Not enough for way too long You cut the circulation often on your body depending on how you’re sitting or laying and yeah I probably overdosed at least twice without without realizing it and By the grace of God woke up like okay in your sleep. Yeah Yeah, when you’re when you’re on it, you’re pretty much sleeping the whole time, right? Mm-hmm I it’s it’s it’s really weird how it works because it’s called it’s called nodding out. Mmm and Yeah, I mean technically it looks like you’re sleeping like if you were watching me getting really fucked up I’d be like that but I’d be able to hear everything I’d be super conscious of you know What’s going on around me and and out of way might be able to open my eyes and just snap back into it But your brain at the same time is it’s pretty much in this state where it where it thinks it’s asleep Yeah, so you can drive and talk to people and function. Absolutely. I went to work every single day for five years straight Dozing the sales job now Jamba Juice And you where everyone’s boss yeah Teenagers making smoothies. Yeah Hiring a bunch of people the boss never figured it out. Um, no or like your yeah boss. Yeah Yeah, now he never did he was actually the owner of the company and or the franchise and I mean, I’m sure he suspected something but He was the owner of that location The seven locations in Arizona Wow. Yeah. Okay he knew Eventually, yeah I I told him what was going on when I went to rehab and I’m sure he suspected something but never Confronted me because we also we also had a close relationship outside of work. I worked for his other company and okay Can you do you feel like you can spot other? Absolutely Okay. So what how do you spot another I guess someone that’s high on Be an opium. Oh now on opioids opiate. Yeah opium is a poppy plant. Okay Yeah, but it’s all the same. Yeah. No, I mean it’s derived from the same thing Yeah, but opium is is specifically derived from poppy and then opiate is Essentially the synthetic form. Oh, yeah, like scientists made it. Mm-hmm. All right, okay So how do you spot so on the titan opiates? You look at their eyes I mean You look at the flush face. You can watch the face like it’s more bread pale Pale yeah dark circles under the eyes and then I mean obviously if they’re really fucked up they’re gonna be Coming in and out of you know closed and opening and closing their eyes. And yeah You just tell by the way they walk if they’re doing if they’re functioning in any way It’s just I mean, yeah, you kind of have to kind of take that it takes one to know exactly so fentanyl That’s a more synthetic form of opiates. Yeah, it’s a pretty powerful form. It is synthetic They say that point one microgram is enough to kill a person Which they they actually get fat and all to cancer patients and like patches that stick on your arm And so it’s a really slow release And then the fentanyl that’s in the pills are Bootleg may it’s bootleg made in China and sent over to Mexico and then shipped up the border And that you don’t know where it’s made. You don’t know how dirty it is You don’t know how much is being put in the pills And so it gets really dangerous when when you’re trying to you know, buy those types of things and take those types of things So yeah It could easily kill you and that’s what that’s what has led to an increase of up to five hundred percent Overdoses in America for opiates is is the fentanyl problem. Okay. Yeah, when did that come into play? You know 2015 ish. We start how started happening like brand new. I mean, I’m sure it happened before that but You know, that’s when it started to kind of get on record and was in the media and whatnot. Yeah a lot of people They kind of get addictive things because there’s a void and they’re filling a void. Yep Did you did you have any trauma or um, no trauma? I mean, I guess in high school I was a little like socially inept I got I mean a lot of people don’t think I was a lot of people tell me that they don’t feel like I was this way when I expressed that I felt that way but I felt like I was always Misplaced and I was always the oddball out the black sheep. I felt like no one ever liked me for who I was and And that’s the really common battle that a lot of addicts have is that they feel like that They’re just not in the right place no matter where they are And so they have to use something to kind of free that that anxiety out of them Yeah, there’s this YouTube video. I saw like this cartoon Have you seen it? he’s like they’re talking about addiction and it’s something like The rats were like the rat cages and the Wunderland rats and it was because they could connect with each other. Mhm yeah, yep, I’ll link that in the description, but Basically, yeah connect like our connection with other humans and people is pretty much What can stop addiction and yeah Yeah, it can that’s what a lot of addicts is actually seeking is just being able to connect with other people Mm-hmm your tolerance builds over time. It’s so the exact number to overdose is different for everyone. Mm-hmm How much was like the highest you were taking at a time? I could easily take up to four to five hundred milligrams of percocet and And one day one like golden one goal Wow. Yeah, I Think it’d be possible for someone who has never taken opiates if they took one Percocet 30 they’d be pretty close to Two fallen out is the term for overdose. Oh Really like one even just one for the first time 130 how much you weigh? Yeah. Dang What do you do for fun now? Um, I work a lot now I play a lot of Pokemon Yeah Pokemon go no on the DS the 3ds Okay what I mean, if I were to like go out and do something I mean likes play music play shows with my band I walk my dog. My dog’s my best friend. Oh my bike. Yeah. What kind of dog you up? He’s a he’s a lab pit mix Or I would drive my car around I Draw I Drive a Subaru that I really like so cool. Yeah, what’s your favorite band Radiohead? They’re pretty good Yeah, they’re like, they’re like the closest things in religion that I have to be honest. I think they’re really important to me. Yeah Yeah, really important. I I Would say I’m like a mediocre fan of them. I know I Know about five or six songs right on what’s your favorite song than them? Probably shit I Would say there there is one of my all-time favorite songs and Then I really like dollars and cents Pyramid song That’s the I could go on a tangent for hours. Really? One that I can paranoid android right on. Yeah, I love that one. Good album. Yeah Really groundbreaking album actually. Yeah, what’s that album called? Ok Computer Okay, any last words for my audience? No Thanks for watching Yeah, thanks for being here. I appreciate it. It has been great. All right, I will see you next week

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