Flight Attendants – SNL

Flight Attendants – SNL


>>>WELCOME ABOARD FLIGHT 1250C,
SERVICE FROM LUBBOCK, TEXAS TO CHARLESTON, SOUTH CAROLINA.
MY NAME IS SPENCER.>>I’M SABRINA.
AND RETURNING TO THE FLIGHT CREW THIS WEEK IS GARETH.
>>HEY Y’ALL. I’M GARETH.
>>GARETH HAS JUST GOT BACK FROM A MONTH LONG SABBATICAL.
LET’S GIVE HIM A HAND.>>OH STOP.
YOU’RE MAKING ME BLUSH.>>NOW TYPICALLY, THIS IS WHEN
YOU SIT THROUGH A BORING SAFETY DEMONSTRATION.
BUT WE LIKE TO DO THINGS A LITTLE DIFFERENT AROUND HERE.
>>WE SURE DO. SOMEONE GIVE US A BEAT.
>>I MEAN, I USED TO BEAT BOX IN COLLEGE, BUT I DON’T KNOW IF I
CAN STILL EVER EVER — [ BEAT BOXING ]
[ LAUGHTER ] ♪ 1250C IS A REAL FUN
FLIGHT WE’RE SOARING THROUGH THE SKY LIKE A
BIG OLD KITE.♪ ♪ YOUR CREW IS SPENCER
SABRINA AND GARETH. YOUR COMFORT AND SAFETY
IS WHAT WE CHERISH. FASTEN THE SEATBELTS AND♪
♪ PULL THEM UP TIGHT. AND DON’T UNBUCKLE IF
YOU SEE THAT LIGHT. BE SURE TO STAY SEATED♪
♪ OR YOU’LL BUMP YOUR HEAD. AND GOD’S NOT REAL.
WHEN YOU DIE YOU’RE DEAD.♪ [ LAUGHTER ]
>>OH MY GOD.>>DAMN GARETH.
>>WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?>>WE ARE DOING OUR SAFETY RAP.
>>YOUR RHYME WAS, EXIT SIGNS ARE MARKED IN RED.
>>I’M JUST PREPARING THEM.>>FOR WHAT?
>>THE BEYOND. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>ALL RIGHT, LOOK FOLKS, WE APOLOGIZE.
GARETH WILL STICK TO THE RAP WE AGREED ON.
>>WE ARE ALONE IN THE COSMOS AND GARETH WILL RAP AS HE
PLEASES. [ LAUGHTER ]
>>SPENCER IGNORE HIM. SIR, WOULD YOU PLEASE BRING THAT
BEAT BACK IN. I THOUGHT IT WAS PRETTY FIRE.
>>THANKS, JUST SOMETHING EVER EVER —
[ BEAT BOXING ] [ LAUGHTER ]
♪ IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE SEATED IN THE EXIT ROW
THERE’S A COUPLE OF THINGS WE THINK YOU
SHOULD KNOW♪ ♪ YOUR CLOSEST EXIT MIGHT BE TO
THE BACK AND THE AFTERLIFE IS
JUST A VOID OF BLACK♪>>OKAY STOP DOING THAT.
>>I WILL NOT BE SILENCED.>>WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU, GARETH?
>>I WOKE UP, SABRINA. I WOKE THE HELL UP.
[ LAUGHTER ]>>WELL SPENCER WORKED SUPER
HARD ON THIS RAP SO CUT IT OUT.>>YES, I HAVE A QUESTION.
>>YES MA’AM, YOU ARE IN FACT IN THE EXIT ROW.
>>OH NO, MY QUESTION IS FOR GARETH.
SO WHEN YOU DIE, YOU’RE JUST GONE FOREVER?
>>CORRECT.>>MA’AM, WHY?
>>AND RELIGION IS A DELUSION THAT SHIELDS US FROM THAT
IMPERMANENCE. [ LAUGHTER ]
IF YOU’RE INTERESTED, I CAN RECOMMEND SEVERAL PODCASTS.
>>CAN WE JUST FINISH THE RAP PLEASE?
[ LAUGHTER ]>>I AGREE.
GARETH, THE FREAK SHOW ENDS NOW. SIR, WOULD YOU PLEASE BRING THAT
SWEET-ASS BEAT BACK IN ONE MORE TIME.
>>IT IS A VERY SWEET BEAT.>>REALLY IT’S NOT THAT EVER
EVER — [ BEAT BOXING ]
♪ NOW LET’S DISCUSS AN IMPORTANT TASK HOW TO
APPLY YOUR OXYGEN MASK♪ ♪ LOOK OUT BELOW WHEN
THEY START TO FALL YOU GOT TO MOVE QUICK
THERE’S NO TIME TO STALL STRAP THEM TO YOUR HEAD♪
♪ PULL THEM TIGHT ON THE END
BE SURE TO DO YOURS BEFORE YOU HELPING YOUR
FRIEND♪ ♪ SO FAR ALL Y’ALL BEEN
UNDERSTANDING BUT WHAT SHOULD YOU DO IN A
WATER LANDING?♪ ♪ THE CUSHION ON YOUR SEAT CAN
BE USED AS A FLOAT
YOU CAN SLIDE DOWN THE RAMP AND IN TO A BOAT♪
♪ BLOOD STAINS THE WATER AND YOU START TO SCREAM
WHAT BENEVOLENT GOD WOULD ALLOW SUCH A
THING?♪>>IS THERE AN AIR MARSHALL IN
HERE? [ LAUGHTER ]
WHEN I SAY DEATH IS, YOU SAY FINAL.
DEATH IS –>>FINAL.
>>DEATH IS –>>FINAL.
>>THAT’S IT. GIVE ME THAT RIGHT NOW.
GIVE IT TO ME.>>SIC THE THOUGHT POLICE ON ME,
ADOLF. YEAH YOU.
REAL NICE. EVERYONE HERE SHOULD READ 1984.
IT’S AS RELEVANT NOW AS FOREVER. [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
♪♪♪

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